I Just Wanted to be Able to Say I Had a Dad

May 07, 2008

Schylar Canfield, Montana 

Schylar Canfield entered foster care in Montana at age six.  He moved 14 times over the next 11 years, until he “aged out” of foster care at 18.  Living on his own and working to support himself, Schylar graduated from high school and will graduate this spring from college.

Now, at 24, Schylar is finally joining the permanent family he longed for while growing up. Schylar is being adopted by his former music teacher and mentor. He says simply, “I just want to be able to say I have a dad.”

“I missed out on having a family to guide me and offer advice,” said Schylar.  “When I think about the birthdays I spent in foster care, I don’t feel much emotion. There were no parties with school friends or colorful birthday cakes filled with candles. Sometimes, my birthdays were simply forgotten. Other times, I might get a card or a hand-me-down gift.”

When Schylar was 18, he aged out of foster care, completely alone.  He had been in an Independent Living program since the beginning of his junior year in high school, so he just continued living on his own - but without a weekly check.

Schylar feels that, in many ways, being in foster care and aging out of the system robbed him of a childhood and adolescence. He took on responsibility and worried about rent and bills at an early age.  He said, “I grew up so fast I didn’t have time to pause.”

But, after all this time, Schylar finally found someone who can almost make him forget many of the painful things he experienced.  That person is his 6th grade music teacher, his mentor through all his different placements and now – his dad.  As a kid, Schylar fought against any connection with another individual, but now he realizes that life is too short to miss out or reject the chance for a permanent, loving family.

Visit:  Kids Are Waiting