At Adoption Coalition Meeting, Stories Told to Those Considering

Story Date:

Thursday, April 17, 2008
by Karin Hill

At Adoption Coalition meeting, stories told to those considering

JONESBORO — Carrie Elam knows that adopting a child can be a long, difficult and frustrating process. But after adding to her own family through adoption, she has come to a positive conclusion.

“You only have to look at our two boys to know that it’s absolutely worth it,” she said Wednesday.

Elam was one of several speakers at a meeting of the Adoption Coalition in Jonesboro.

All five women had different stories about the adoption process and the foster system, and they shared their insights with other families who may be considering bringing home one of the thousands of Arkansas children in need of a “forever family.”

The coalition, which meets several times a year to discuss ideas for improving the adoption process, exists to aid in the placement of foster children in permanent homes by helping to recruit adoptive and foster parents. One of its more public efforts is the Heart Gallery, a collection of photos and descriptions of children waiting for adoption. The gallery is displayed in various public areas and local churches to increase the visibility of available children.

Another mother who shared her story on Wednesday was Sheila Guinn, who told of her experience with international adoption.

“We had a child die in 1992 in a car wreck, and about 6 months later my aunt in San Antonio called and said ‘Why don’t we start praying for God to drop an orphan in your lap,’” Guinn said.

Several months later when the couple was visiting family in Little Rock and happened to meet an exchange student from Colombia, someone suggested to Guinn, “Why don’t you adopt her?”

One thing led to another, and Guinn made the trip to Colombia to start the adoption process, which took about a year. It cost just $1,000 for the attorney and $500 for a visa, she said. She still stays in contact with the attorney who helped her.

Carrie Elam said she decided to try adoption through the state in 2006 after several failed pregnancies. The next year she and husband Matt got a call about a “5-year-old little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy” who happens to look a lot like Matt. The Elams now are in the final phases of adopting a 10-month-old.

Her advice to others wanting to adopt is to know the difference between adoption-only homes and foster-to-adopt homes. Families willing to foster a child may have a better chance of finding a child, as many children are first placed in the foster system and then become available for adoption.

“Had we been an adoption-only home, we probably would not have gotten a call on those two boys,” she said.

Adoption types discussed

Dia Sawyer, who has adopted twice, discussed the differences between open, semi-open and closed adoptions where the birth parents have varying amounts of involvement in the adoptive families.

Lori Clements and her husband decided early in their marriage to not have biological children because of certain genetic predispositions. Instead they adopted. But for them, it was a frustrating experience, one that many other adoptive families experience because of the legal procedures and many entities involved in getting an adoption through the system.

“It’s too long for kids who are 6 and 7 years old, and they’re getting bounced back and forth,” Clements said.

Foster care experience

And Ashley Coettel, a student in cosmetology school, told of her experience in the foster care system. She “aged out” of foster care at 18 and had to make a sudden and difficult transition to independent adulthood because she never had an adoptive family to help her.

“It’s been very difficult for me,” she said.

For more information about the Adoption Coalition, visit www.adoptarkids.org. The next meeting is scheduled for Aug 13th

khill@jonesborosun.com